with your own penis?
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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