it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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