Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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