hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
