So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My vagina just recognized that song.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
