Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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