Are we in a gay sports bar?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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