just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize