You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
