her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
