this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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