i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
