I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
