Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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