i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
