That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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