dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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