So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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