I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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