Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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