mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Shame is for Republicans.
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