pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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