They should really pass out barf bags in church
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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