another moral hangover. fuck.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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