im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
