We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
