Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I need water and some morals
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
