U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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