I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
