Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You have to summon your inner elephant
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize