Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize