I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
