ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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