is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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