i already hear my dad disowning me
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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