My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
