4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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