Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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