i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
