Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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