Can Purell be used as lube?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
