I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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