Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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