hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
