sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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