no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
