hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
