Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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