He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
