Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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