I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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