There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
