Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Houston, we have a blender
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
