shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
