eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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