We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So squirting runs in the family.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
