Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
being pregnant is like rehab
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
