i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
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she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We don't watch enough power rangers
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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