Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i think i just lost a toe
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
