The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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